ABG: Arterial Blood Gas. A lab measurement of, among other things, the pH and oxygen concentration of arterial blood; the procedure is known as an arterial stick, and trust me, this is one thing I'll never tell someone is "just a little prick." It hurts.
ACLS: Advanced Cardiac Life Support. A protocol developed back around 1990 that involves the use of drugs, defibrillators, and sequenced flowcharts to correct most cardiac dysrhythmias.
AMA: Against Medical Advice. If I tell you stay put and you leave anyway, you're leaving Against Medical Advice. It's pretty self-explanatory.
Angioplasty: A surgical procedure in which a small catheter with a balloon tip is threaded into the coronary artery.
Anemic: Hematocrit and hemoglobin are low, for various reasons
AOB: Alcohol On Breath.
Arrhythmia: occurs when the beat of the heart is no longer originating from the sinus node, and the rhythm is abnormal
Atropine: A drug used to speed up the heart rate
AZT: an antiviral drug prescribed for the treatment of AIDS
Bagging: a procedure in which a bag is attached outside the mouth so that breathing can be done mechanically for the patient
Bag 'em: To use a bag-valve mask to ventilate a patient.
Bleeder: hemorrhaging patient
Bounce-back: Someone who is seen again shortly after being discharged from the same department. You'll hear this as a "bounce-back [complaint]."
BP: abbreviation for blood pressure. This is two numbers, like 120/80, that represents the pressure inside the arteries during contraction (systole) and relaxation (diastole) of the heart, respectively. There are a couple ways to take a blood pressure, one involving the use of a stethoscope and the other involving the use of your fingers and the artery. (Okay, so there's a machine, too. Yeesh.) The machines do give us a diastolic (bottom number) if anything is ever "palp" means you can feel it but can't measure it, usually means the person is about to crash
"Bradying down": Bradycardia is a slow (<40) heart beat. Bradying down is the slowing of the heart rate. See 'tachycardia' for the opposite effect.
CBC: abbreviation for Complete Blood Count. It's the first test most "ER" doctors order for the vast majority of their patients, if one is needed. It's pretty useful. Tells you lots of nifty stuff, like red and white cell counts, hematocrit, hemoglobin, and some determinations calculated from those values, because we're mostly too lazy to work it out ourselves, and besides, the computer's faster at anyway. Those determinations are the mean corpuscular volume (MCV), the mean corpuscular hemoglobin (MCH), and the mean corpuscular hemoglobin concentration (MCHC).
CHF: abbreviation for Congestive Heart Failure
Chem 7: A blood test to measure blood urea nitrogen (BUN), serum chloride (Cl), CO2, creatinine, glucose, serum potassium (K), and serum sodium (Na). The logical follow-on to this question is, "Okay, so what's in a Chem 20?" Answer (in alphabetical order, as it's listed on this lab print-out): albumin, alkaline phosphatase, ALT, AST, BUN, serum calcium, serum Cl, CO2, creatinine, two billirubin determinations, gamma-GT, glucose, LDH, serum PO4, serum K, serum Na, cholesterol, protein, and uric acid. And no, I'm not going to explain what all of these are, because it'll take me another 60kb. You can also call these tests SMA 7 and SMA 20 at most places, and nobody will look at you oddly.
C-section: shorthand for cesarean section, which is the surgical delivery of a baby through the abdominal wall
C-Spine: The first seven vertebrae in the spine, going from the base of the skull downward; the cervical spine. (C1 through C7, in other words.) A cross-table c-spine is a kind of x-ray taken laterally across the body to check for fractures of these vertebrae, a common occurrence in traumatically injured patients.
Code brown: term used when a patient doesn't make it to the bathroom in time
CPR: Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation.
Crit: Hematocrit, or the height of red blood cells over the plasma in a centrifuged tube, expressed as a percentage. You can probably figure out for yourself why this is a useful measurement. (Hint: red blood cells carry oxygen to the tissues of the body.)
Cross-clamp(ing): The aorta, the main oxygenated artery leading from the heart, has two parts one going up and one going down, called the ascending and descending aorta respectively. During a thoracotomy, the descending aorta can be clamped off to control massive hemorrhage below the diaphragm. This process conserves blood while preserving perfusion to the heart and brain, but obviously compromises circulation to the lower body. It's kind of like putting a big tourniquet on just below the costal margin
CT/CAT: Computed Tomography/Computerized Axial Tomography. A scanning technique that involves x-rays, detectors (instead of film plates), and computers to make pretty pictures of the inside of the body. It gets a lot of use for things like head injures (because it shows intracranial bleeding very nicely), but also sees service in other parts of the body.
CVA: Cerebrovascular Accident; a stroke. Sometimes called a brain attack (I guess by analogy with 'heart attack'), it's a temporary blockage of the blood flow to a part of the brain. It may be immediately fatal or it may hardly be noticeable at all (or somewhere in between); if you hardly notice it, it's called a transient ischemic attack, or TIA.
CVAD: Central Venous Access Device. A catheter tunneled underneath the skin to provide intravenous access. Examples are a TLC (triple lumen catheter, has three lumens, inserted in the neck in the jugulars or subclavian veins, or the groin in the femoral vein), PICC (percutaneously inserted central catheter, inserted in the upper arm into the subclavian vein, can have one, two or three lumes) Chest or arm port (inserted surgically either into the arm or the chest, long tern, it's a reservoir that can be accessed with a special needle called a Huber needle.) All eventually go into the heart. The benefit is that blood can be drawn t hrough these devices, rather than poking the patient seperately.
Cystic fibrosis: a lung disease that causes the production of thick mucus in the lungs, hampering breathing
defib: defibrillator pads, you see them on TV. Sends a shock of electricity through the body to the heart to 'reboot' the heart and correct an arrthymia
DOA: abbreviation for dead on arrival
Down: Slang expression for Cardiac arrest. "The patient's down!"
DNR: abbreviation for Do not resuscitate; often requested or ordered for terminally ill patients
Edema: excessive accumulation of fluid
EKG (ECG): abbreviation for electrocardiogram; measures heart activity
EMT: abbreviation for Emergency Medical Technician
Endotracheal tube: an instrument inserted into the trachea through the mouth to facilitate breathing
Febrile: fever
Foley: A type of indwelling urinary catheter.
Gomer: Get Out Of My Emergency Room. A patient you really don't want to deal with. Usually elderly, and practically indestructible. More generally, those minor, irritating complaints that show up around 03:30 when you're in the middle of a great dream.
Goop: Conductive gel -- that stuff that gets dumped on the paddles of the defibrillator before shocking the patient. I swear I am not making this up. Used so the person on the receiving end doesn't get the skin burned off their chest, which is always really pretty, hurts like hell, and smells really bad.
GSW: Gunshot wound.
Haloperidol: Quite possibly the most useful drug in emergency medicine. It's a sedative. Also known as Vitamin H.
Hemorrhage: a dramatic and sudden loss of blood
Hypertension: High blood pressure
Hypotension: Low blood pressure
IA: Information associate. Unit secretary. They're responsible for taking orders off, calling in consults, answering phones, computer work, and filing.
ICP: Intracranial Pressure. Increased ICP is one of the results of blunt trauma to the head, among other things.
Intubation: the procedure of inserting a tube into the trachea of a patient who is not breathing.
IV: Intravenous access. A short flexible catheter inserted in the arms or rarely the neck and feet, to provide fluids and medications. They are good up to three days, then must be replaced. Also blood cannot be drawn from them.
IV Push: Most intravenous line sets have a port (sometimes more than one port) on them that allows medications to be directly administered into the blood stream. This gives a more rapid systemic availability of the drug than if it were administered intradermally (ID; rarely done), intramuscularly (IM) or subcutaneously (SC).
Laryngoscope: an instrument for opening the larynx
LOC: Level Of Consciousness, or Loss Of Consciousness.
MI: abbreviation for Myocardial infraction (heart attack)
MRI: (Nuclear) Magnetic Resonance Imaging. It's a type of diagnostic imaging that sucks money like you wouldn't believe, but produces some incredible pictures. Contemporary MRIs can create images that have a resolution that's almost as good as a dissection.
MVA: abbreviation for Motor Vehicle Accident
NG tube: Nasogastric tube. Through the nose, into the stomach. It's about as much fun as it sounds. In the ED, it's used for gastric lavage and emptying.
Neutropenic: Low useful white count. This is indicative of a malfunctioning or absent immune system. Causes can be chemotherapy for cancer, AIDS or idiopathic (unknown)
Platelets: The factors in the blood that cause clotting
Preemie: A slang expression for a premature infant
Pronounce: an expression for pronouncing a patient's death
Pulmonary edema: fluid in the lungs
Pulse Oximetry ("pulse ox"): a non-invasive and painless way to measure the oxygen saturation of arterial blood. Also an indicator of how well someone's breathing; healthy range is between about 96 and 100.
Rape kit: a package containing envelopes for the collection of hair, sperm, and blood samples of a rape victims, as well as the official reporting forms
Saline solution: a blood volume substitute made of salt and water, a temporary substitute for lost blood
Sinus Rhythm: A normal heartbeat and rhythm.
Stat: Slang expression for hurry up
STD: abbreviation for sexually transmitted disease
Sux /sukhs/: Succinylcholine. It's a paralytic, and a drug used in rapid sequence intubation, it causes whole-body paralysis rapidly after administration. Some people call this Vitamin S.
SQ or SC: Subcutaneous injection. Insulin is administered this way. Short needle.
Tachycardia: Rapid heart beat. Sinus tachycardia (normal rhythm, just an accelerated beat) is >120 beats/minute; ventricular tachycardia is a life-threatening arrhythmia that requires immediate correction (and is, along with ventricular fibrillation, a leading cause of death in arrest patients).
Thrombocytopenic: Low platelet count. Patient is at risk for hemorrhage, because the marrow does not produce enough platelets, the clotting mechanism of the body.
Tox Screen: Blood test to determine what drugs are in a patient's system
TPA: Properly tPA, it stands for Tissue Plasminogen Activator, part of a class of drugs known as thrombolytics. It's kinda like Drano for your blood vessels. Historically, thrombolytics have been given heart attack patients. Recent research, however, has suggested that tPA and other thrombolytics may be of value for stroke victims if it's administered within six hours of the actual ischemia. Most institutions now have guidelines on the administration of thrombolytics (there are others besides plasminogen) to MI and CVA patients. Some doctors like thrombolytic therapy because it's less expensive, traumatic and invasive than surgical interventions like angioplasty. There are concerns, however, about bleeding disorders and coagulation problems in some patients, so more research is needed. Time will tell how well tPA and thrombolytics in general work, but the evidence thus far has won them a lot of praise over the years.
Tube: Used alone, usually referring to an endotracheal tube. As a verb, it means to intubate someone.
Turf: To dump a patient to someone else, usually another service. A great way of making your day easier.
Triage: the system of prioritizing patients in an emergency situation in which there are a great number of injured or ill
Treat and Street: To treat the patient quickly and get them home.
Type and Cross-Match: Blood typing prior to transfusion

Tech or aide: nurse's aides. They draw blood (they do NOT insert IVs), perform EKGs, and provide basic patient care (taking vital signs, hygeine, walking, etc)

Type of Ostomies
Tracheostomy: hole cut in the base of the throat, the patient breathes out of this. If it has a tube in it, it's called a 'trach,' if its just the hole its a 'stoma'. Sometimes speech can be affected, t hough 'stoma speech' can be taught.

Colostomy/Ileostomy: Diversion of the intestines into a pouch worn outside the body. Colostomy is diversion at the colon while ileostomy is a diversion at the ileus. Both can be called 'colostomies.' Located in the front on the abdomen

Urostomy: Diversion of the bladder, usually happens in bladder removal (cystectomy), patient voids urine into a bag, much the same as a colostomy, just with urine. Located in the front on the abdomen.

Nephrostomy: Diversion of the kidneys, instead of urine going into the bladder, it bypasses the ureters. Used for blocked ureters, assistance with passage of stones and various tests. Located in the back in the location of the kidney, or kidneys

Arteries versus Veins: arteries 'spurt' when cut, in rhythm with the heart beat. Veins do not.

Precautions:
Seizure precautions: Padded siderails, loose blankets and clothing, and Ativan on hand
Neutropenic precautions: Isolation to protect the patient from germs they can't fight off, no fresh fruits, vegetables or yogurt with live cultures, no visitors with as much as a sniffle. health care workers wear a mask if they think they might have a cold.
Contact isolation: Gown, gloves, mask if you expect body fluids to go flying
Respiratory/Droplet Isolation: Gown, mask, gloves
Standard precautions: wash hands before and after patient contact, gloves when touching body fluids
Blood Borne Pathogen Precautions: If a health care worker is involved in a blood borne exposure (needle stick, blood splash), an HIV and hepatitis tests are obtained. Tests on the patient can only be obtained with the patient's permission. If the patient is in a high risk group, antiretrovirals may be started